Choose your response to painful memories

You cannot change your past. Don't stay in the Past This week i have been writing about my past and talking about my past. I have rediscovered that I have strong feelings that have come up with remembering a difficult time in my life. I actually became restless and I couldn't sleep. I tend to stiffen up my feelings and want to move forward. I have done so because I hadn't given myself permission to feel because people shamed into not feeling that way. I was more into i guess it wasn't that bad. I also was shamed into the feelings of family members. I have stuffed on a continual basis my hurt anger. I tend to do this when I have physical pain so I am able to function. I have a high tolerance for physical pain and yes emotional pain. This week I felt anger for the first time. I felt How unfair it was to be treated like a child when finding out My story. How, at 30 my mom wasn't able to share my beginnings with me. My Identity! I was furious! I calmed down. Being angry is not healthy. FALSE TRUTH IS It is good to be angry and hurt. It is what you do with your anger. False I thought that I was being sneaky for wanting to know my beginnings. Looking on my own.

Wrong! When I received my information and I read that my adoption was private I am not suppose to know about me. I am disturbing something sacred.

Me! I was fearful at approaching a don't talk about topic. About me. My identity was taken from me. I must not be loveable.

Wrong! I am angry because I am a worthwhile woman and loved by God. Another lie I thought I had cleared up my anger and there were places that I hadn't even thought of. What totally irks is when as a adult I write a letter to my birth mother. She talks through my mom. GRAPEVINE I am 34 years old and I am a adult.

Not a child. I am not Margie I am married. I have buried my anger! My aunt and uncle went into treating me differently. My mom as well. I can't change my past I can't live in the past. I can choose my attitude. I can feel the anger and move forward.

You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you Free Feeling my pain and giving my self permission to feel the pain anger and pain has been healing for me.

The poison has been drained out. I am able to move forward. Until next time!