Reunion in adoption

Reunion in adoption is not a fairytale. It is not a guarantee that you will live happily ever after.

In my case Reunion turned out to be a series of well kept secrets.

Unfortunately my family have been

Keeping my identity from me. They even were Keeping me from other family members.

There are still are people who don't know my identity.

I wasn't invited to join the family from my birth family.

My family dried up in giving me information.

My adoption is not talked about by family.

I am suppose to dummy up.

At first you think are getting some where only to find out that you are fearful of each other and you end clamming up.

It is takes a lot of thought to make a reunion work.

The problem you are meeting with family members years after the relinquishment happened.

I am not the same person. I was 34 years older when I met my mother.

Yes people tend to be on their best behaviour and do not show their dark side.

Then there are those who only show the side that has been shadowing since your mother gave you up.

Yes sometimes parents are in denial.

Sometimes spouses do not know about you.

When reunion begins there's the possibility that there will be a Secondary rejection. It becomes devastating to your mental health.

My mental health took a beating after I wanted my identity in the open.

People who are hurting will go to any lengths to protect themselves. Threatening violence, legal action and scare tactics.

I went through secondary rejection.

I cried a lot. I started to mistrust people. I yelled at the wrong people. I had Misplaced anger

I was devastated with the relationship with my birth parents.

I wanted to belong to my birth family not my adopted family.

My birth father refused to talk to my adopted mom after my adopted dad passed away.

At my adopted mom's funeral my birth refused to talk to me.

I now have to think about rejection from another perspective in How do I deal with rejection and know how to let it go?

I have found that I had to invite God to fill that empty space with His healing love.It is process to let go and when am

Letting go of rejection ruthlessly. I have to plant myself into God’s comforting love.

Its like warm sunshine the love Jesus has given me.

This love connection can never been taken away from us.

You have to

Trust that God will never abandon you, even if you’ve rejected Him.