Trauma stirred up

Loss

The pandemic brought up the issues of trauma separation from my adoption.

The pandemic happened fast and we suffered loss and separation from family and friends.

Trauma stirred up My feelings of loss and trauma were stirred up when a loss has occurred. The pandemic brought back distressing and disturbing feelings.

I felt helpless. The Trauma of Corona stirred up grief. I felt helpless all over again of my separation from my birth mother.

My separation began when my mother decided to give me up because of nerves. The grief trauma happened in the womb before I was born. My trauma intensified happened when my mother brought me to my new home.

This brought deep distressing feelings feeling helpless ness that was buried deep inside that I had not experienced before.

I at first didn't put this together at first the loss from my past.

As a n adult I have after shocks of trauma.

At Birth,

Too look at me you would see me as happy contented baby. The first few days I cried a lot. I had a good appetite. My mom lost a fair amount of sleep.

This is a new layer of loss and trauma that I had to address..I have had to grieve my loss again. I relived the trauma and separation until I remembered that I am a adult and I don't have to relive the trauma as infant

I know I probably should feel those pains right away but I also know I have to deal with my triggers that work for me.

I now call the trauma after shocks of what happened to me at birth. They come as reminders of How God has brought me from a difficult situation to where I am today. I live in the present and not in the past. I may have triggers from the past but it doesn't define who I am. I deal with my triggers as they come. I remind myself are these triggers or letting me know I have to feel them and look after them. I have to say yep but happened and now we carry on.. these triggers can't hurt me anymore or dictate my feelings anymore. I can manage my triggers. Sometimes I have to step back from triggers and carry on. This is because I'm over tired and I have lots of pain. I have to look after the pains in my body first and get some rest so that I can face these triggers head on when I've had some rest and relief from weather changes pains.