Traumatize not victimized

Trauma is usually thought of

When you have had a car accident.

When a person has lost a loved one.

A crisis

A loved is Chronic ally ill

A person who has been abused

Been a victim of violence.

The continues

A few years ago I began to study on issues of the Adult Adoptee

I began to see adoption in a new light.

For the first time I began to understand why I felt

Depression

Anger

Loss

Struggle with Adoption Issues

Identity

Traumatized

For me trauma came when at 3 years old

I experienced being left.

I had a fear of being left and It came when I was 7 days old.

Apparently I cried alot at night the first few months of my life after birth in my new home with out my mother.

I could relate to the children that I babysit.

They would hang on to mom

They act out when Mom came home.

I even had a boy resent me for being in his mothers place.

That young boy never truly bonded with me

I had trouble bonding with my adopted parents.

There was a wall that came up between my parents and me!

Unknown to me I was pining for my birth family.

For a long time I thought I was the victim when it came to adoption.

It was my fault

My parents could not look after me

I wonder why they went.

Over the years I've realized that it's not my fault. The decisions were made by adults Beyond My control.

Through studies of issues that adoptees faced I realized so I needed to grieve the loss of my first parents. I had to go through the stages of grief before I could heal.

Anger

Denial

Bargain ING

Acceptance

Losing a parent at any age it's difficult.

But to lose a parent to adoption is even harder. No one acknowledges your loss. No one sees it as loss.

Over the last few years I have experienced healing from adoption trauma.

For me to heal I had to let go of feeling responsible for my parents not being able to look after me.

I had to write out my story and feel the pain and anger I had.

I had to express how it felt to be adopted !

Prayer ministry helped me know that God was always with me.

From the very beginning.

I have learned that my adoption does not define who I am. God does

I felt a lot of fear terror in my heart. But God has replaced the fear with his Love.

Most important thing for me as an adopting is to know that I am a daughter of the king and that will continue until the day I die. My identity is not on my family here on Earth but with God which will never end.